10 Mistakes Parents Make
"There's no way our kids would take drugs."
If you believe your family is perfect, and you demand perfection, you might also encourage pride. It is quite possible that one of your kids could have substance issues. Deal with their issues with love and grace, even when they go astray.
"I have to be tough to teach my kids a lesson."
If you use anger to win every battle, you will lose the war as your kids grow in resentment. All of your children are designed by God, and there is hope for each one of them. Recognize their God-given strengths while calmly dealing with any problems they create.
"We shouldn't let people know about our problems."
If you cover up their issues because you are embarrassed or worried, you teach them that isolation is a way to address problems. Instead, talk to someone and get help. Isolation is the worst thing you can do when your kids are struggling.
"If I confront my kid, they'll act out even more."
If you let them do whatever they want without facing any consequences, they learn impulsiveness as they see they can get away with anything. Instead, set boundaries with consequences and calmly, consistently enforce them.
"I need to teach them how to control every situation."
None of us are in total control all the time. If your teenager believes they are supposed to be, they will not develop the ability to handle stress on their own. Help them learn to turn first to God for guidance and support as well as you for advice and encouragement.
"I can protect them by taking care of consequences of their bad choices."
If you shield them from the pressures of life so they don’t have to address them on their own, they will develop a sense of insecurity. Instead, stop enabling their inappropriate behavior by taking away negative consequences they have brought on themselves.
"It's my job to make sure my kids are always happy."
If you give them whatever they want, what you really give them is a sense of entitlement. This can lead to risk-taking and ignoring boundaries. Being a parent includes saying “NO” and also teaching your kids to appreciate their blessings and what they already have.
"I want to control their lives so they don't make bad choices."
If you try to manage their lives for them, they won't learn how to do it on their own, which leads to worry. Give them opportunities to make mistakes to grow and mature naturally. Step back from your desire to control them all the time.
"If I ignore their issues, they will go away on their own."
If you don’t talk about what’s going on in their life, they'll have a lack of self-awareness. Talk to your kids about challenges teenagers face and build a supporting environment where they can share their issues with you.
"It's not my job to talk about God to my kids."
If you allow them to obsess on their problems in a self-absorbed manner, that may turn to depression. It IS your job to talk to them about God and help them find their purpose in life.
Make a change that will help your family.
All parents make mistakes, and we don't have to be perfect. So learn from the mistakes many parents make and strive to be better. What could be more important than that?
Sign up for PACES for Parents, an online toolkit of practical tools and techniques presented in videos, downloadable documents and worksheets. This information is a FREE resource for parents to protect their kids from addictions and help them lead a happier life. It's easy to get started, and then you just take it a step at a time.
